ENBY BC - 04 - Mastectomy
I am in the hospital having my double mastectomy performed as this post goes live.
It’s a double mastectomy with an aesthetic flat closure. No reconstruction, no nipple, just flat. Which is fine with me.
My relationship with my breasts was contentious for years. I used to wear a binder and stare in the mirror for hours on end dreaming of a flat 'guy chest'. When I gained weight wearing a binder became claustrophobic, so I stopped wearing one. I began to do drag, using my boobs as a part of my silhouette, and I began to love what was there.
It's confusing, because I am sad to lose this part of me, but I am excited to know myself with a flat chest-- a part of myself I assumed would happen 'one day'. I never imaged that 'one day' would be because of breast cancer, that autonomy would not be involved in the decision.
I'm sad, and I'm scared, a bit lost too. But I'm feeling hopeful for who I will become on this wild ride.
WHAT I NEED RIGHT NOW
What I need right now, from most involved to least involved:
Prepare a meal for me. I’ve set up a MealTrain for this.
Donate to my gofundme
Check in on me and my partner, Bryce (if she knows you). Let us know you are thinking of us. Please be patient with my response time — I’m healing from surgery.
Recommend movies for me to watch while I’m stuck at home.
Send positive energy: cast a spell, send a prayer, perform a ritual. All good energy helps!
Have me and my partner in your thoughts
