Enby BC - 13 - Chemo I
Chemo!
I don’t really feel like going into depth about my experience today, maybe later either. I’m getting tired of writing detailed accounts of my emotional and physical peril for the general public. I know that is a pessimistic viewpoint but I’m finding myself dreading writing these blogs as of late, and they are interfering with my desire to post Enby BC as I feel an obligation to accompany with a post.
Chemo. I was tired the first week. I was sick. My piss was red-tinted, and a biohazard. I ate a lot of soup and bread when I did eat. My stomach hurt. The world felt gray, I felt high - not in a good way.
I tried to dress cute to at least make up for the active poisoning. It’s weird knowing you’re being complicit in the poisoning of self. But the other option is worse.
Vibin’
The ‘A’ in AC chemo aka Doxorubicin aka Jell-O Shots aka the Red Devil
Getting dosed with the ‘C’ in AC chemo aka Cyclophosphamide
Day two was tattoo day. After a bit more adjusting It was go time. I plucked some of my collected hair and we burnt it with incense to start the session. We each put on headphones and began our deep focus. The tattoo was painful and cathartic. I cried as I listened to Cocteau Twins. Apparently I was bleeding quite a bit. I focused on breathwork to get through the tattoo, and I told myself each line was one step towards a completed tattoo. I also told myself that if I could handle getting this tattoo that I could handle getting chemo. Two hours later we’d completed the tattoo. My head definitely stung, but I had something protective to take with me into chemo.
WHAT’S NEXT
Chemotherapy 2/8 - Feb 1
Blood Test - Feb 12
Oncologist Clinic - Feb 13
What I need right now, from most involved to least involved:
Donate to my gofundme
Thank you to all who have donated. I hold a lot of gratitude in my heart for this.
Socializing - I am happy to take visits. Message me :)
Compassion and patience.
Send positive energy: cast a spell, send a prayer, perform a ritual. Have me and my partner in your thoughts
