Enby BC - 16 - Solitude
Medical solitude. A concept that seems universal in these times. Going to your medical specialist to receive what feels like the minimum amount of care. This extends to cancer care here in Canada. My experience throughout my treatment has been to arrive for my appointment, wait 30-60 minutes, be ushered into my appointment, be told what is happening next, and be left alone to process. The sad thing is that I am grateful for receiving the minimum standard of care as a more than acceptable amount of cancer patients have received less.
The specific instance I portray here has been my breaking point. Throughout treatment I feel that I have been a ‘good’ patient; agreeable, prepared, concise in my questioning, easygoing. When a relief oncologist greeted my at my endocrine therapy treatment I felt relieved to have a woman treating me for this specific discussion, but also unnerved as I had no rapport with this person. As we discussed the massive seven year undertaking of the next step of my treatment and the side effects I felt crushed. The kindest thing that oncologist did for me was pass me a tissue box. But I could tell she was strapped for time. Comfort was for someone else to provide. She looked at me with pity, and she provided little information about my treatment outside of the basics. I’m glad I do my own research and have context for these appointments.
The onc whisked away just as quickly as she appeared. I was left alone to deal with the weight of what I was told. Not the first time, not the last. But at this moment, the heaviest. I sat outside the Tom Baker and cried for an hour.
WHAT’S NEXT
Oct 30th - Endocrine Therapy begins - first Lutron shot
What I need right now, from most involved to least involved:
Donate to my gofundme
Thank you to all who have donated. I hold a lot of gratitude in my heart for this.
Send positive energy: cast a spell, send a prayer, perform a ritual. Have me and my partner in your thoughts
